Disclaimer

The Disclaimer to End All Disclaimers

When I was an aspiring writer in Mr. McGraith’s Creative Writing Club at Northside College Prep in Chicago, where I went religiously every week for nearly all of high school, we had one rule: NO DISCLAIMERS. We followed the same format every week: We were given a prompt, about 30 minutes to write on it, and then everyone had to read what they had written.

As you can imagine, in that time of heavy adolescence, people often suffered from a lack of self-confidence in their own writing, and often in general. Sometimes, before reading their work, writers would announce something to the effect of, “Guys, I just wrote this, and its not very good, and –“ at which point the group would cut them short and proclaim in one loud chorus, “NO DISCLAIMERS!”

It was a wonderful time, a profound condemnation of precursors and caveats. Your writing was yours, and you should be proud of it. It was a room of confident understanding that all work is work in progress. It was our own personal Stone Henge, a safety zone of writing. Sometimes I would write dreams addressed to my audience, some kids would write only in rhyme, others make no sense at all.

However, today I’ve left that circle of salt. I’ve entered a world of accountability for my words, and that is where our story begins.

Today, I am seeing the world not on my own dollar, but on yours. Uncle Sam is paying royally for my services, and he expects not to be let down. That being the case, people may believe that given my affiliation with our great Red, White and Blue Capped Uncle, my words somehow reflect his thoughts. As much as I would like them to, my words are not the words of the great nation in which in which I was born, the beautiful one that love.

My words here are my own, they reflect my thoughts and my experiences and opinions, and mine alone.

There is great fear, and not undue fear, that some forces of evil my try to take my words, tack them into the wind, and sail them high with their pirate flag. Against a prevailing current of joy, respect and common humanity, they may plan to sail to my words to their nefarious islands of destruction.

To those villains, I wish to reiterate, these words are my own, they do not reflect the US Government, the Peace Corps, or anyone of even minor importance. Attempting to use my experiences for evil ends will get you nowhere. The Peace Corps will denounce me and my little Peace Corps blog faster than you could imagine, and without their backing, I’m just a generic American with a head full of stories and a mind for adventure.

(I should mention, while I write these dramatic words, an un-potty-trained toddler with the fattest cheeks you’ve ever seen and a happy mask of boogers is saying soft words to me in a language I barely know, and tapping happily at the keyboard, grabbing at my thumbs, and just generally exploring her new friend. For the sake of clarity, I plan to edit out most her4 additions. )

As a closing note, I wish to say, if anyone even wishes to use their masterful talents of creativity to take the overwhelmingly positive views expressed on this website and find something to complain about, then you had better believe we’re all doomed, because, in that case, it’s totally true, the terrorists have already won.