Posts Tagged family

Coal for Christmas and a Suprisingly Relaxed New Years

The holiday season is a funny season for the tenderfoot volunteer. It is a time of watching, of waiting, and interpreting everything through a lens of the ever growing cold.

Our Dec. 25th Christmas (as opposed to the Jan. 7th Russian Christmas) started things off. While festive decorations went up around the 20th, aside the occasional Santa Clause, the only direct mention of Christmas comes in the form of “Christmas Tree.” Having these is a common tradition here, and they’re called that, however the date we accept as “Christmas” goes almost entirely unrecognized.

For my sake, my family breaded and fried some fish, a relative rarity in these parts. The complete oblivion surrounding our customs took an ironic form for me, personally. Before dinner on Christmas, we picked up two tons of coal, in the form of 30 large sacks to fill a 3×3x6 foot shed. That makes me, surely, the naughtiest kid Santa has ever seen.

The following day, 13 of the volunteers in Naryn Oblast convened into one volunteer apartment to celebrate American Style. We prepared a spectacular feast, held a Secret Santa, played games and told stories. It was a big slice of the familiar packed into just a few hours.

The period between Christmas and New Years, was one of working uncertainty. See, the name of the game out here is company parties. My Dad and the electricians celebrated one day, the NGO/Government leaders another, then the teachers, smaller companies, students, large families, etc. And with only 3 or 4 real restaurants in town, this means it is wholly unclear when anyone would be actually working, or just preparing for their parties.

Match this with the bitter cold cheelde having tushed (or arrived), means getting bundled up to find an empty office is particularly unappealing.

On the subject of the cheelde, the forty days of the bitterest cold of winter, I’ve learned the first day is not necessarily a unanimously agreed upon event, but for me, one day stands out. As I left the house that morning, patches of frost covered the gate, like lichens, every tree branch in town sported a thick, wispy layer of it, like a sheath of white bark.

As for the Jan 1st New Years (as opposed to the Muslim Noruz New Years holiday in March, or the old Russian New Years on January 13th), the celebrations were quit a bit more subdued than I expected. My family and I had a big meal together, complete with Champaign for toasting. Just after the stroke of midnight, the city erupted. For about 20 minutes the popping of fireworks was nonstop, and we went outside to be awed, locals favoring the big bright ones, over the copious noise makers I witnessed years ago in Beijing. After that initial burst, the cracking slowed down, but continued, intermittently, like a spent bag of popcorn, throughout the night.

Feeling the cold before my siblings, I headed inside, in time to make a toast with just my parents around. I thanked them copiously, for everything, their time, patience, their respectfulness, and eagerness to open their family to me. Their response brought a tear to my eye, “Carl, you’re now part of our family.” What more could I want?

Originally Written January 3rd, 2010

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Secrets in Language (A Story for Christmas)

There are some moments when you realize that something has entered your life you never thought of as meaningful.

In my life, I have only received whispers in English, my mother tongue, until now.

See, I have a 6 year old sister here. I tickle her, we plan little games, sometimes she hangs on me at dinner, or sneaks over to kiss my cheek. And lately, she’s been whispering secrets close into my ears.

There is something profound about listening to words so close and quiet they aren’t meant for anyone else. So intimate. Never before has someone who didn’t speak the language of my parents trust me enough to confide in me using another one. No one has even whispered a secret to me since grade school. In that way, I feel both a bit like I am back there, but also, just like in grade school, I feel a bit like I am growing up.

And with these simple moments of innocence, I am growing closer with my family. My 2 year old brother, having seen this, has taken to copying his sister. But, unlike her, he doesn’t really know what is going on, so he just give me hoarse gibberish, and then sits close to me, and giggles when I kiss him. The whole family watches, and we all laugh together.

This is my tenth home stay family world wide. One might say I’m experienced. But here, only three months deep, by no means the longest duration, I am beginning to grow truly close.

To be with a family bold and strong and loving enough to really embrace me is a gift I’m so grateful to receive.  I wish all of you in my correspondence the same gifts I am so lucky to have out here.

For this holiday season, find someone you love, hold them close with your hands, and whisper a secret to them. You just might surprise yourself.

Merry Christmas, and have a happy New Year.

Originally Written Dec. 24th, 2009

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A Different Kind of Cold

I imagine, to a certain extent, those of you who read these updates with regularity must find them a bit redundant at times. This will make the third letter with a cold weather related title, and we’ve only hit mid December. I can’t even imagine how many times I’ve described slaughtering for meat or dairy products. However, some parts of life here are just so pervasive, when I reflect, I can’t keep them out of my mind. Today, the subject is the cold.

Its cold here, and the cold is different from any cold I’ve known. Thus far, the lowest we’ve hit is  around -13 Fahrenheit. While I think it’s already gotten down lower than that in Chicago, taking wind-chill into account, here its not all that windy, and that makes the cold, well, different.

The best way I can describe it is that when I go outside, my nose begins to feel as though it is freezing. Not “really-cold” freezing, but like, water turning into ice, freezing. When the cold first started to fall, I noticed people clearing their noses in powerful farmer blows. The habit is beginning to take on new relevance for me.

When the real cold hits, the locals know it. They even have a word for it, cheelde. This notes the forty coldest days of the year. While the dates vary, the first day is always cold enough that most everyone agrees. The middle of the cheelde is not as cold, but the last day is like that slap in the face interrogators always give their victims in the movies to wake them up after passing out: its just as cold as the starting day, but signals the end of the worst.

The cold has even permeated everyday language. Along with “how is your health, and, how is work?” a common greeting is now, “you’re not cold, are you?” One day my boss asked if my house was warm (a common question) and when I chuckled agreement I also sprung the question back on him. “Well, of course. But I’m from here, I’ve prepared. What about you? Are you ready?” Now, aside from being unable to procure a traditional coat and making do with hand-me-downs, how could I answer, Yes? How could anyone prepare for -40 (the convenient point where Fahrenheit and Celsius meet), without wind-chill, having not experienced it before?

Every day, in fact, my family asks me if I’m cold at night. On a record day, three of my family members, all independent of each other, asked me this question. What I really want to tell them is that none of it would be so bad if I didn’t have to brave this awful cold every time I needed to use the bathroom.

But where the cold is cold, the hot tea and loving family truly make up for it. I would never want to live alone in this place, and now, I can see why hardly anyone does.

Good luck with your own famlies, folks, and Happy Holidays.

Originally written Dec. 19th, 2009

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The Winter Cow

We slaughtered a cow last Sunday! Right.

I got home in the morning, around 9, for the sole purpose of seeing the animal meet its maker. She was tied up to the tree next to the clothes line. Just chillin’ there.

We hung around, had breakfast, no big deal. And then, maybe an hour and a half later, we got down to work. Two guys helped my dad, the first was Cholpon, the guy who lives with us, sometimes. I think he’s my mom’s brother, but I’m not sure. He’s always doing funny stuff like bundling up to go to the outhouse, and drinking honey seeped through a radish (apparently good for your throat).The other was a savvy looking guy who I’ve seen around before named Aibek. He seemed to really be the ring leader. He helped do the complicated job of tying up the heifer’s legs so that all three of the men could simultaneously pull the ropes and she’d fall over. But as knowledgeable as this man seemed to be, I think since it was my Dad’s cow, it was his job to do most of the slaughtering.

With the cow on the ground, my Grandma came out to insist that we do an omeen and said a little prayer. Then my dad brought out a knife and started the work. We had a little trench dug there in the snow and dirt. The other two men held the cow in tow with ropes, one binding all the legs, and one tied to its nose. My dad approached it from the back and just slit the animal’s throat. But that’s not where it ended. For whatever reason, this one cut was not enough. He had to keep getting in there to finish the job. This was the only really gruesome part of the exercise. The only thing I hadn’t seen before. He just kept going into its throat to cut more stuff apart. The whole while, blood was pouring out, frothing in the snow. The cow was breathing, but the steam was coming out of the cut in its throat. It was twitching around, trying, perhaps, to get free. My dad just kept cuttin’.

All the while, I was filming the event. Once it was over, my dad asked, “are you scared?” “No,” I said. Then I got a “good job!”

With the cow dead, the scene looked like some sort of Hollywood horror set. There was the pit of blood, surrounded in white snow, except for what had been made into froth from its throat breath. There was the log its neck had been held over. After it had been dragged away from this scene, there was a smeared trail of blood. Watching the animal go was even worse, as by this time, the cut had been made so deep its head almost hung around as a courtesy.

At this point, the skinning began. I contemplated leaving, as I’m pretty familiar with this process, but, knowing that only in staying for the things you’ve already seen can you begin to see new things, I stuck around. I had this thought many times, and in the end, only left because I had to.

At this point, during the skinning, the guy who seemed to be the most experienced in the matter, started asking me if I was gonna do any of the butchering. “You keep taking pictures-” he just kept saying. Finally, my dad took the camera from me, gave me a knife, and they showed me how to cut off the skin.

I kept noticing how this was in stark contrast to my old family’s house. There, the slaughtering of cows was work. It had to get done, with quality, and the quicker the better. Sure, it was fun to talk about me helping, but nobody actually seemed to want me to get in there. Maybe I should have hung around the garage more, like a kid brother, until they finally gave me a knife. But I never did, and they never offered. Actions speak louder than words, especially when you can say so few, and no matter how many times I asked to be taught, they’d just signal good intentions, and then leave it at that.

But here, in this new family, (who seem a bit more emotionally involved with me regardless), it was the winter slaughter. This was going to be the meat for the whole season. It was a big deal, and I was part of the family. Unlike a kid brother tagging along, I was a part of the family, and they wanted to include me. So they did.

My dad said he’d take some pictures of me, and I got in with the knife. There is some kind of film between the skin and the meat of the animal. Like the glue you see when you pull a price tag off of a birthday present. My job was to cut this glue. I needed to keep from cutting the skin, so I’d have something to pull on, but I also didn’t want any meat left on the skin. So the cut had to be right in the glue, next to the meat. But as I did that, I found I was cutting a bit of the meat too. There is some kind of a film between this glue and the meat proper. When I looked at where the other guys were working, their films were intact. Mine was not.

So I kept going, enjoying myself all the way. I noticed the guy skinning the ribcage on the other side of the animal had moved from the knife, and when it was convenient just used his fist. This has the advantage of guaranteeing you won’t cut the flesh. But before I could try it, my apparent slowness caught up with the group (perhaps from watching the other men, perhaps from being too careful, or maybe from watching the flesh of this animal quiver, and remembering only minutes earlier it had been alive), and my dad stepped in to finish the job. After that I took some more pictures, lots more pictures, but it was the end of my specific work.

With the cow skinned, the first thing they did was cut off the legs. They’d already broken the shins off at the knees, and now was getting down to the meat, the haunches. They cut little handles between the muscles or tendons in the leg, chopped it off at the joint, and then carried it into the garage. It was so cold already, that we were going to have no problem freezing this meat. With the legs cut off, they moved to open the animal up.

Now, at the butcher’s house, I had never gotten to see this process. For some reason, I always just assumed you’d open the ribs near the butt up first, and then get the organs out. But they didn’t touch the back hips until the very end of the day. This part started with the front ribs, near the neck. They cut some of these open, using sharp knives. Occasionally, they’d use a hammer to put a knife through a bone. With the first few ribs out of the cage on either side, they then broke off what appeared to be the breast bone. This provided clear view of the lungs, and the beginning of the organ bag.

This I learned at Bucknell, from a girl who went hunting with her father and brothers. All the organs come in a sack. This makes them easy to clean out, from perhaps a deer, but in the cow, it only helped in the beginning. As we were breaking open the rest of the ribcage, the organ bag stayed pretty much intact. But at some point, the intestines and stomach started to spill out. Once we had the ribs splayed, they dragged the organs over to a plastic sheet.

Here, the women stepped in. They got to work emptying remaining poop out of the intestines, and otherwise cleaning the edible organs, which comprise the vast majority. My dad cut some hair from the tail to tie up two parts of the intestines before cutting them, I assume from the end of the tube to the anus. At this dismantling point, I also got a clear view of the big white wind-pipe, and the smaller, softer esophagus. The wind pipe, I would late have the privilege of watching my mother run her teeth along the inside of during dinner, as if it were an artichoke leaf.

With the organs over to the side, being cleaned by the women, there was one large organ left alone. I had previously assumed, it being so big, that it was the stomach. It was not the stomach. It was a calf. There was a bit of talk about it. I guess they hadn’t known the cow was pregnant. There wasn’t much talk, though, at least not much that I could understand. Instead, someone just picked it up, cut the umbilical cord, and brought it to a lonely spot in the snow. Later, they’d slit its throat, as if it might otherwise get up and walk away.

At about this time, or perhaps before, more friends and neighbors started to show up. They came to help a bit and just hang out. This was, after all, a big event. At some point, three guys, all around my age, showed up with a bottle of vodka and a dozen beers. They pushed my dad to drink, which he did only politely, and then declined. I was not so savvy.

See, I’m usually better at sneaking my way out of drinking than I am a direct and persistent refusal. These guys would not let up. We talked. The one was hoping to marry his girlfriend next fall. After admitting this was my first cow slaughter, they wanted to charge me for watching this, so I quickly changed my story. They wanted to go to America with me when I left, as everyone does. But in the end, they wanted me to drink.

For this young American, three shots of Kyrgyz vodka on an empty stomach pretty much suffice. I followed it with a little beer, and proceeded to get quiet. I was drunk, and I didn’t want to proclaim it. Unfortunately, as the butchering slowly moved into the garage, and I got to talking at my Dad and one of the guys who had pushed the booze on me, I repeated something I had misheard my dad say about me on a previous occasion. “Right now,” I said, “I am very interesting in sheep.” Unfortunately, I said something to the effect of “right now, I am very drunk to sheep.” Right. They laughed. As they should have.

Originally written Dec. 9th 2009

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Winer is Coming!

So, you’ve all gotten to be witness to my birthday, and now things are settling in here at my new home.

Some things I’ve learned, are different. Others, strikingly similar.

For instance, we still eat a lot of sheep. But here, when I told my father that I didn’t know how to butcher one, he looked quietly into my eyes and said, “I’ll teach you.” This is a sentence, it seems, he delights in repeating.

Here too, we drink funny drinks. Before, we drank a fair amount of shorpo, the salty broth from boiled lamb, preferably mixed with kimiz, the fermented mare’s milk. Here, already I’ve been privy to drinking a cloud.

This Kyrgyz legend, told in variations since I first arrived, has been somewhat clarified to me. Probably not a cloud shot with a gun and caught in a jar, as I was first told, but instead, perhaps just the mist of fog, if even that. What we have now seems to be the juice secreted from a rubbery fungus patty soaked in sugary tea. This fermenting concoction rests in a large jar covered in cheese cloth that sits on the kitchen counter. I get a small glass every night or so. My father says it will keep me regular.

Other differences mostly revolve around the people in the house. We have fewer relatives coming in and out than we had before. No workers in the yard, sticking around for dinner. All this may be on account of the change in season, but I notice it all the same. Instead of people coming physically in and out of the house, however, the neighborhood itself seems to be a closer knit community.

This may be because of the people in the neighborhood, but also, perhaps, because my new street is exceedingly narrow. With just the width enough for a single car, the neighbors, are quite literally, a lot closer. But the narrowness of the road (combined with its irregularity) keeps traffic light and slow. Here, the children play ball in the street, and neighbors amble around amiably.

Otherwise, life here in Sunny Naryn seems to revolve around the coming of winter. A new hat seller has appeared in the bazaar, selling traditional fur hats, ones he says he makes by hand. In every house I visit, with the last of summer’s vegetables people seem to be preparing a cornucopia of salads, to be preserved and eaten in the dead of winter. Snow is starting to fall on the passes, and people are beginning to talk about the safety of the roads. I’m also trying to get my hands on a traditional Kyrgyz winter coat, the kind made from corduroy and the pelts of sheep.

Its powerful, living so much closer to the weather. If I don’t have the right clothes by the right time, I simply won’t make out. If we don’t prepare the right food, we just won’t have it. Its passionate. Its intimate. And its just so wonderful to see.

Originally Written Oct. 16th 2009

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Happy 25

So, for those of you who measure your lifespans by fractions of centuries, this past October 8th, I hit the ¼ mark. When I come home, at the very least, my car insurance will be cheaper.

This year, I spent the holiday with my newest homestay family. First off, for those of you who keep track, this is 8th developing-country family to take me in, but the first to celebrate my birthday.

This new crew provides me a different view of Kyrgyz culture than the last. They have family living abroad and siblings who sport chess Grand-Masterships. The father one day asked me, “if the American economy is so bad, how come the value of the dollar keeps rising?” The children seem to study constantly.

We have a grandmother who lives with us. One of the first things I noticed was that she does that adorable, cartoony old person thing of scrunching her whole face when she chews. At dinner one night, I noticed she was peeling the apples before eating them, and so I asked, “don’t you like to eat the skin?” to which she replied with a laugh, “I have no teeth!”

This year’s birthday celebration was marked by a large dinner, and the exchanging of simple gifts. This new family seems very eager to embrace me as another child. They gave me a bright white kalpak, the traditional Kyrgyz hat, and a towel, “for washing your face.” I wore the hat all through dinner. In return, I gave them some American candy I recently got in a package (thanks Lizzie!), all were impressed.

Aside from these delightful festivities, I had a quick glimpse into the language acquisition process of a non-native speaker. As we sat around, eating slowly, people took turns toasting to me. In America, while this would be a rarity, I think I could handle the moment, but here, I became uncomfortable.

See, when I normally don’t understand things, I can either bluff my way through, or ask for clarification. But when something poetic is being said in my honor, I find it impolite to bluff, but also to ask for a repeat. Then, as I became more and more eager to make a toast of thanks, it became all the clear to me that my Kyrgyz simply can’t support such an exercise.

See, I am good at saying the things I say a lot. Sitting around, casually talking, even being at work, those things I can get by doing. But formal, poetic, toasting language, moments of sincerity, spoken intensely from the heart are a seldom occurrence here in this land of second language.

Just as here, when I was a child, my parents brought me to these types of settings, and I watched, I learned how to do it, in our, American culture. But here, not only do I not know the customs, neither do I have the language to even understand them. And being with people who care, who are clearly invested in the moment, it just hurts so much to get things wrong.

But we can’t let that stop us, now can we? So I tried, I thanked everyone I could think of, and all seemed impressed. Sometimes, I just hope for a little patience, and assume that practice will make perfect.

Originally Written Oct. 8th, 2009

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Drinking Clouds

He looked at me with those quiet, serious eyes, “have you ever drank a cloud?”

“No, I haven’t.” I said, “have you?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have some?” I asked.

Then he stood up, and walked to the other side of the table. He didn’t take his eyes off of me. As he leaned over and reached behind the couch we sit on at meal time, he slowly said, “yes.”

Now, I’ve heard about this. A previous volunteer told me the story. People shoot the clouds, and catch their falling bodies in jars. Then they drink them as medicine. I was told by one woman that it is like beer, just not alcoholic. Some Kyrgyz people say they’ve heard the story, but don’t believe it. Others insist that their grandfather did it, still others that men these days continue the practice, but only the ones who live in the mountains. Still, as these kinds of stories generally go, no one has seen it done, but everyone has seen the jars full of cloud, or at least knows someone who has.

So my curiosity was piqued when my father, the electrical engineer, whose family all lives internationally, whose wife is a doctor, and two siblings are chess grandmasters, the man who asks me complicated questions about investing in currencies, told me he had a cloud in a jar behind the sofa.

What he pulled out was a large glass jar, the opening covered in cheesecloth. The bottom two inches were comprised of a thick, three layered gelatin, white, brown, white. The gelatin didn’t touch the sides or bottom, but floated in what appeared to be water.

“This is a cloud?” I asked.

“Yes.” And then he went for his dictionary. “Mushroom, rain. Rain mushroom.”

That didn’t help. I repeated the words in Kyrgyz, and he just nodded somberly. He picked up the jar and made to pour. I didn’t really understand. I figured this cloud, or “rain mushroom” probably needed to stay sealed under its cheesecloth.

But he poured some of the water right through the cloth. The jelly kept its shape, just moving around along the edges of the jar until he set it down again, and it took its rightful place back at the bottom.

“Drink” he said.

“This is cloud?” I asked.

“No, its juice.”

I looked around the room. The kids had left, and its was just me, him, his wife and his mother. Grandma was busy shaking cow milk in an old motor oil jug to ferment, and mom was kneading dough. My dad had even stopped paying attention to me.

It was like I was in the twilight zone. I had just been told that this cloud jelly was a rain mushroom, and that I should drink the juice. But then no one seemed to care that I had a glass of this rain mushroom jelly cloud juice right in front of me.

So I drank it. Despite being clear, it tasted like a super thin, vaguely carbonated orange juice.

Now I felt like I had passed through some kind of ritual, and could ask questions.

“So, you shot the cloud, and collected it in this jar.”

“No, I didn’t shoot it. But it was shot. Nurlan gave it to me.”

“Where did he get it?”

“I don’t know. But he has it.” Then he got out the dictionary again. He pointed to a word, “constipation. Drink, and then, no.” Back to the dictionary, “intestines. Good for intestines. And stomach.”

Then he got up and left the room, and came back with another identical, but empty jar. He poured some boiling water into it, rinsed it out, and then filled it up about 3 quarters of the way. Then he poured some tea in. “Big spoon,” he said. Then began to add sugar.

“How many?” his mother asked.

“Five or six,” he replied. “First, boiling water. Then tea. Then, it must be sweet. Now, in two hours, when it is small, we will get more cloud from Nurlan.” He presented all this with the utmost seriousness. “Right now, in Germany, there is a,” back to the dictionary, “medical investigation going on. One million dollars research. Do you have this in America?”

“No, we don’t,” I answered honestly.

“I will teach you how to make it, and then we will start a business. This will be prepared later. Come, now let us say omeen.”

So we said omeen, and then left the table.

Originally Written October 6th, 2009

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Jaramazan and the Festival of Ait

So here in the Sunny capital of Naryn Oblast, we’ve just wrapped up the Muslim holiday of Ramadan. As many of you surely know, this is about as much of a ‘holiday’ as is the Christian Lent. However, just like Lent, the 40 days of fasting during Ramadan are capped with a big Christmasy celebration at the end.

During Ramadan, folks don’t traditionally put anything in their mouths from sunrise to sunset. Kyrgyzstan, however, is a notoriously lax Muslim country, and I have seen only a small percentage of people following these strictures.

What I have luckily been able to witness more of is the Kyrgyz tradition of Jaramazan. A couple of times per week this last month, neighborhood boys have come around to our house and others singing the folk song of the same name, on the subject of down from the mountains, on horseback in the first verse, and on an ox in the second. After hearing the song, residents are suppose to give out some of their dinner, or candy, or money to the boys, much like our Halloween. However, true to their relaxed nature on these traditions, I seldom heard the song sung to completion, nor did we always answer the bell.

Now the finale celebration of Ait, or Eid, here in Kyrgyzstan is defined not by gift giving, but by boatloads of guesting.

Traditionally, one goes to an odd number of houses. The reigning champion volunteer went to thirteen in one day. I clocked in at a paltry 3, but I still slept well on a full belly of Plov, Kymyz and Dim-da-ma (my personal favorite Kyrgyz dish, effectively a thick, down home stew without the broth.)

Most of my time this year was spent on a narrow, neighboring street where a previous volunteer lived, and made such an impression that the folks have taken me in with loving arms. So much so, in fact, that I have just about completed the delicate balancing act of moving from one house to another, namely, my current house, to one of these neighbors.

See, the family that I am living with is absolutely delightful, but the traveler in me is getting restless again. “Its not that I don’t like you, quite the opposite in fact,” I told my current family. “The fact is, if I am to learn about all of Kyrgyzstan, the troubles and successes, the good jobs and the bad, if I am to truly get to know this community, I can’t just live in one place, with just one family.”

“Okay, we understand. But, will you come and visit often?” They asked.

“You had better believe it.” I said.

That means, at the beginning of October, the auspicious calendrical lunacular of my birth, yours truly, Kyrgy Carl, will be moving from my little room among this big Kyrgyz family to a littler room among an even bigger Kyrgyz family. That means no more carcasses when I come home. But rest assured, the more people I have to visit, the better my letters will become.

Originally Written September 22nd, 2009

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Guesting!

So, as I have mentioned before, Kyrgyzstan is a very guest oriented culture. With close friends and family, it can be just like America: hang out, join the family for dinner, chew the fat, you know, visit.

Now, when “guests” or “конок” (konok) come over, all bets are off.

I walked into the dining room yesterday afternoon to find a Renaissance era still-life sitting on the table. There were giant, cut-glass chalices of fruit: apples on the bottom, with grapes of two colors on top and hanging over the sides. There were smaller chalices of homemade jams, in apricot, cherry, currant and apple. We had brought out the purple and gold trimmed China and good silver. Near each place setting were ornate salads, and in the center of the table were mountains of bread – from the loafed Frisbee bread, to the little fried dough nuggets they call “borsok,” which were truthfully sprinkled everywhere.

Now, my father was not going to be home until around midnight, so my mother invited me into the feast (a first, for me) and told me I was in charge of pushing the vodka.

Our friends for the evening were one couple that works with my father, and some friends of theirs who were working in Moscow. The friends and my Mom were all dressed in a similar uniform: nice top and sweat pants. My Mom had make-up on, fancy hair, a pretty blouse and tunic, paired with bright pink, velour sweat pants. The gentleman sitting next to me was in a nice button-down shirt tucked into blue warm up pants. My one-year-old brother, however, stole the show with his up/down contrast suite. He was sporting an Oxford cloth shirt, leather vest and bow-tie on top, with lace up shoes and knee socks down below.

You might wonder, now, how did I know those socks went all the way up past his knees? Was he wearing shorts on this chilly September evening? Thank you but no. For this party, besides his cute shoes and socks, below the belt, my brother was totally naked.

Now, my Dad’s coworker wanted to know all about me, and America. He peppered conversation with a smattering of standard questions, and got me with some new ones

Q: Kids in American move out at 18, right?

A: Sure, either right after high school, or after college, that’s normal.

Q: Your president slapped a fly in midair while in an interview, right?

A: He sure did.

Q: Was that a shameful thing for him to do?

A: Not really.

Q: So, you speak American, right?

A: Well, I speak English.

Q: Wait, are you from England?

A: No, America.

Q: So, there is there no language, “American?”

A: Not really.

That was pretty fun. Now his friend, the one who had been working in Russia, his questions were more pointed, geared mostly at proving I was a spy.

Q: Do you speak Russian?

A: Not a word.

R: Ha! You must be a spy! Who would learn Kyrgyz if they weren’t a spy!

Q: How much do you get paid?

A: Very little.

Q: If you were working in American, how much would you get paid?

A: A lot more.

R: Ha! See! Who else would give up that kind of money beside a spy!

Conversation was much more fluid, however, once we had a few shots in us. My job was, at every lull in the conversation, fill our shot glasses and insist on toasts.

Now, toasting with shots requires a strategy, which everybody here seems to have, generally involving not drinking much of the contents of your glass. I decided to pick one of the other men, and follow what he was doing. Unfortunately, the only man in a clear line of sight from me was the guy who’d been in Russia, and he, I noticed later, was the only one draining his glass with each toast.

For a long time, we just sat and talked, toasting. Everyone had eaten salads early, and was just nibbling. Everyone but me. See, a volunteer once warned, “you will be pressured heavily to drink, but God help you if you ever appear drunk.” So as much as I try to do what everyone else does, it was either eat or get silly. With food that good, my choice was easy. Though, to be perfectly honest, the pace was rather tempered, and I was able to take little drinking breaks, like while I was running the store to buy another bottle…

All this turned out well, however, as 11 o’clock came and went, with no more food having come out. Given my permanent haze of poor language and cultural ignorance and general shyness, I had no idea if a main course was ever going to come. So, 8 shots deep, past my bedtime, and stuffed full of salad and bread, I snuck off into my room. Luckily, by that point, my Dad was just coming home, and could fill my void.

The later attempts to rouse me (though, I must assume involved the arrival of dinner) were, thankfully, half-hearted at best, and I slept soundly through the night.

That’s all folks, from this big, extra-long Bonus Letter. For those of you from the mailing list who caught this, congrats, you are the few and the proud. For you folks who are reading this last paragraph and asking what on earth this mad blogger is talking about, drop me a line, and I’ll give you the skinny.

Originally Written September 10th, 2009

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Just a Day

So my life here is really beginning to settle in. My weeks are spent with my horde of volunteers, watching them canvas, studying their language, and spending time with my fellow volunteers. The big variable here is my family. Sometimes I see them a lot, but sometimes I’m just too busy.

Just today, I rushed off to work and had to skip breakfast, much to Grandma’s chagrin. But once I got to there, and people started asking why I looked so tired, I realized I had a headache, a runny nose, and every other symptom there is for the common cold, not to mention quite underdressed for the weather.

So I took the day off and headed back home. My Grandma, seeing me walk in says, “So, who’s in the big hurry now?” My mom tells her I’m sick, and then the fun began. Just like my Grandma at home would have done, and every Polish babysitter I ever had: my family brought out the food – tea, bread, jam, sugar, honey, candy, last night’s dinner and a tomato with salt.

“Eat food! Saaleeep!” My mom said, in the long drawl she employs for the English words I’ve taught her.

In my room, I found my sister, cleaning her things from my closet. She stopped to tell me about how she doesn’t speak Kyrgyz very well, on account of mostly Russian schooling. How she wants to learn English, and be a translator in America. As we talked, the little ones kept poking their heads in through the doorframe, one on top of the other, like smiling cartoons. So my sister shoed them out and shut the door, then insisted on showing me how wonderfully curly her eyelashes were.

So I spent the day at home, no work, no American friends – just me and my family. I slept off my cold, and then brought out my Kyrgyz books. I came to the living room to find my sister just beginning an older movie called “Final Destination,” where some college students cheat death, only to have death track them down.

I tried to point out the not-so-subtle clues as to who would die next, but they seemed happy to just cry out at the horrible deaths of this silly, 90’s era horror flick. I must have seemed like an insensitive monster, laughing at the fun and creative ways the movie came up with for the characters to die. Though watching them cringe, I couldn’t help but think of the seven cows that were butchered by hand in their garage yesterday, or the smell of fresh flesh that generally fills the backyard.

It is so wonderful to have the luxury of a sick day, and a big family to spend it with. What more could a young man, flung so deep into the Earth’s greatest vortex of mountains ask for.

Oh, and I forgot to mention in last week’s letter that yes, Michael Jackson is dead, and yes, everyone here mourns him. Go figure.

Originally Written June 30th, 2009

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